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Looking for someone to help complete a book on bullying that I have started. Here is some of it
On-line communities dedicated to addressing the bullying issue are cropping up all over the Internet. One such noteworthy community that I endorse is Steps to Respect; which focuses on support for children by the key adults in their lives. This website features lesson plans, along with transparencies, a scope and sequence, and a kit. If you find that this one does not suit your needs, I urge you to find another by conducting an on-line search using the tag On-line Community, Bullying.
Counselor Involvement
One of the adults who I believe will increasingly need to be informed and involved in this problem are school counselors. Bullying really requires an all-hands-on-deck approach. As a key resource person, the counselor can receive training in any deficient areas; so that she or he is equipped to support bullying intervention and prevention. I share this two-prong concept, because I think it is just as important to prevent bullying as it is to intervene once it happens. Please see a future chapter titled BULLYING PREVENTION - that addresses this in detail.
The school counselor is supposed to provide support, counseling, and rehabilitation. Because of this, they can help the victim, the bully, and other parties involved in bullying. Sometimes they help students develop deficient tools for coping, or managing life. Their training is extensive, and they are expected to have an interest in helping students.
The reason that I did not tell the counselors at my school is that I didn t think it would make any difference. I also feared retaliation for blowing the whistle. The streets are mean, and you never know how others might try to get back at you for telling. Still, I think it is better to tell than not to tell.
I advise telling for two reasons. First, I know firsthand that keeping it in burdens the victim and weighs him or her down. If nothing else, the victim gets it off their shoulders. Seondly, it is my opinion that there is a greater possibility that it ll get better rather than worse because the victim told.
Whenever a counselor or anyone else receives a report of bullying, they have to keep in the back of their minds that when they take steps to address a bullying situation, the bully s family, the bully, and any gang they are associated with might attack the victim somewhere in the community. Anyone who receives a claim of bullying has to be sensitive, and take any proactive steps to prevent this type of escalation.
I strongly posit that the more people that know what s going on (relatives, teachers, principals, friends, counselors), the more people can look out for the child who is a victim of bullying.
More Parental Wisdom
If parents are told they have to do everything in their power to get the child out of the situation; especially in an inner city. Some options include the following:
Moving the entire family so that the child is in another neighborhood and school
Changing school districts
Moving the child victim to stay with trusted relatives who are in a different community and school (I was moved to another state to stay with family members)
Moving the child victim to a different school where he or she is unknown
Other things that parents can do is to make sure they are around the school sometimes. When other students see this parental presence, they know the child has support. Parents should be viewed as help and should even participate in the PTA at their child s school. Parents should sometimes be the one to pick up the student from school.
Older brothers and sisters should also be visible. They should accompany the child to school, events, and show support. This is another way to curtail bullying; since bullies often like to carry out their acts of torment in isolation.
Destructive Bystanders
The uninvolved bystander(s) can worsen the situation by proving the bully who likes this attention with an audience. Today, as I write this section of the book, a student in Chillicothe, Ohio was beaten in a classroom. The incident was videotaped, and shows many bystanders who took no action.
There are also the bystanders who directly contribute to making the situation worse. Three things in particular are addressed below:
*Laughing this adds fuel to the bully s fire. When I heard bystanders laughing, it was just as bad as if they were hitting me also. It dehumanized me and took my self-esteem away. The loud guffaws, shrieks, and squeals of laughter confirmed to me that the bystanders would neither help me nor tell what they witnessed. It was humiliating.
*Taunting while I was being kicked and punched by my bullies, some of the witnesses would call me names; such as punk , sissy. These bystanders were also, in essence, bullying me. They didn t understand the
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